Grave Gamer News & Views — the red herb

What a helluva day for gaming.  Sure, you can argue that a lot of announcements made on the first day were already outed or spoiled but exciting times nonetheless.  How many days out of the year are this steeped in video game buzz?

Sony ended the flurry yesterday with their keynote conference.  Taking stage to present was SCEA’s own President, Mr. Jack Tretton.  He may have looked physically uncomfortable under the spotlight but he did a tasteful job of maintaining an air of professionalism which was especially welcome after listening to the combo of Aisha Tyler and the LITERAL trailer guy make uncomfortable shift-in-your-seat banter at Ubisoft’s presser.

Sony had their A game face on last night, and there certainly were some grade-A games shown off, but the presentation went soft the moment their peripherals took the limelight.  Plus, while we were treated to some visual expounding on previously announced hits, there really wasn’t much in the way of fresh news.  Click the jump so we can dig in.

The Red Herb Roundup - May 27th Edition

Welcome, followers and perusing eyeballs alike, to the third installment of the Roundup.  Once again, I’ve taken the liberty of collecting, condensing, and listing news worthy happenings in the gaming world that the Herb missed throughout the week as a sort of bullet-pointed tribute to my failures as an internet blogger.  Enjoy!

• Assassin’s Creed III is coming and Ubisoft will be damned if you’re able to find an excuse not to get it.  Not only will the game launch in October for the PC and your major gaming consoles (Wii U included) but a recent online retail listing may have outed it for the PS Vita.  Take your pick.
• The ongoing legal war between Infinity Ward’s ex-chiefs and Activision revealed that the publisher had paid the Call of Duty developer $493 million in bonuses.  The ungodly amount is claimed by the plaintiffs to still not cover the wages their contracts demanded (which is reported to be enough money to grant the city of Detroit flight).
• Don’t expect to see Bungie at E3 in any official capacity.  They’re just sending guys over to drool over new games like the rest of us.
• On that note, annoying footage of what looks like Halo 4’s multiplayer surfaced.  You’ll see what I mean if you decide to punish yourself and watch it.
• Analysts think Grand Theft Auto V should have no problem selling 14 million copies.  Rockstar always knew how to profit off of crime.
• A brand new franchise in the Star Wars universe is set for unveiling on May 31st.  Lucasfilm confirmed we’ll see more at E3…Guess we abandoned Starkiller, huh?
• Yakuza 5 is happening, now with five playable characters and new improvements to gameplay mechanics like seamless transitions between adventuring and combat and I don’t know why I’m talking to America about this.
• Resident Evil: Chronicles HD Collection, bundling the once-Wii bound rail-shooters with new Move controls, hits PSN on June 26th for $26.99.  Should you want one game in the collection over the other (I mean Darkside), you can buy the titles individually for $14.99 each starting July 17th.
• Mass Effect 3 is getting the multiplayer Rebellion Pack next Tuesday.  The pack includes two new maps, new characters, and more weapons.  Here’s the part I love: if you redeemed the Online Pass code, the pack is yours for free, which is consistently my favorite DLC price point.
• A patent for “Game-Interrupting Advertisements” has been unearthed, filed by none other than Sony.  I can only presume the patent was filed in an attempt to ruin the fucking future.

The Red Herb Roundup - May 20th Edition

Welcome back to the roundup, folks.  These be the stories The Herb didn’t quite get to because get off my case, you don’t understand the amount of pressure I’m under.  On that note, I’d like to send a hearty shout out and welcome to our new followers out in the Tumblrvoid, and a sincere thank you to our veteran followers whose continued support keeps the blog from caving beneath my incredible laziness.

I’d also like to thank the gang from the witty, titty, and fun gaming podcast Smarter Than AI for having me as a guest on their fine program.  Some refined discussions were had about gaming at large over more brews than I should’ve been allowed.  The results were crammed into Episode V! 

And now for some poorly cobbled together news:

• Not only is Univeral’s Battleship adaptation a turd in the water, Double Helix’s first-person shooter tie-in is also dead in the aforementioned turd inhabited water.  I’d make a “You’ve sunk my Battleship” pun but that’d be as stupid as spending $220 million goddamn dollars on a movie based on a board game.
• ZeniMax Media, Bethesda’s parent company, went ahead and filed for a trademark on the term “Dragonborn."  This action was a rung down on the priority ladder, though, as ZeniMax filed for "Fus Ro Dah” first because saying you’re Dragonborn means nothing if you can’t shout the words of power.
• Rocksteady scoffed at our secret hunting abilities, revealing that there are at least 3 to 4 hidden Easter Eggs still remaining in Batman: Arkham City.  You seriously thought the Batman plays all his cards at once?  Fool, this is why you’re unconscious with a batarang lodged in your shoulder.
• June 12th is the official date the Metal Gear Solid HD Collection heads to Sony’s Vita.  The package is a little less collection-y than its console counterparts due to the absence of Peacewalker (because Konami already kindly offers the HD-less PSP version on PSN, fully equipped with none of the upgrades featured in the HD edition – you’re welcome).  Oh, and I’m obligated to add this: transfarring.
• Apparently Diablo III had some difficulties at launch.  There were consequences.
• Bioware wants to hear from you about where you’d like to see the Dragon Age franchise go next.  You’ll find no sarcasm in this bullet point; communication between consumer and creator should be applauded.
• What happens when Nintendo’s favorite little outsourced developer, Retro Studios, can’t decide between another Metroid or a new Star Fox?  If you’ve ever been painfully afflicted by Linkin Park and Jay-Z’s Collision Course, you already know where this is going: mash-up!  Mark it as an extreme rumor for now but whatever the hell they’re working on, E3 may definitely be the platform for a big reveal.

The Red Herb Roundup - May 13th Edition

Welcome to our first roundup here at The Herb!  The week is long, yet time short, and so much shit happens in the gaming world over the span of seven days, it’s difficult to be wry about everything all at once.  Compiled here are the things that may have slipped past your radar and…the hell with it; I was too damn lazy to write about these.  Enjoy!

• The original Deus Ex is coming to the PS3…as a PS2 Classic instead of the PC version. I didn’t ask for this.
• Minecraft 360 is profitable within its first hour.  Fez developer congratulates Notch by accusing the studio of playing teacher’s pet with Microsoft.
• The rumor mill claims a new Resident Evil 3DS game is happening (starring my beloved Claire).  I don’t think the murmurs are legitimate, but in case they are – I told you so.
• Lego Lord of the Rings has been outed by the toy line’s packaging.  I’m sure it’s a matter of time before Traveller’s Tales gets around to making Lego Pulp Fiction.
• Bethesda announced Dishonored will being seeing release on October 9th.  This was presumably done to fill the gaping, Bioshock shaped hole left in my heart.
• Speaking of dates, Hitman: Absolution targets a November 20th release.  Your preorder scores you an original PC shooter, Hitman: Sniper Challenge.  Games for buying games?  No, no, it’s all wrong.  They’re fucking with the greater scheme of things –they better bring back bullshitty character and weapon skins before I swallow my tongue in a fit.
• Hipsters and children rejoice, Adventure Time the video game is coming to the (3)DS.
• Capcom’s former godhand, Keiji Inafune, harnesses the PS Vita in his new game Soul Sacrifice.  In future news, the very little money I can call my own will be snatched away by Sony in exchange for their new handheld.  Looks like I can cross both owning a Vita and starving to death off my bucket list.

My very first fightin’ stick was waiting by my doorstep yesterday morning.  I promptly put it to incorrect use and played Resident Evil 2 with it.  To answer your question: yes, no one told me what fight sticks are for.