The Red Herb Roundup - 8/5/2012

Most days I like to start the Roundup by explaining what it is and why I’m listing off video game happenings the week over.

But that’s most days.  It’s more important that you know I originally had something really funny and clever cooking for this intro but I’m astoundingly lazy, often covering up my failings one way or another.  Speaking of: You look great today.  I don’t know if you did something to your hair or if you’re slimming down (seriously, I don’t know, I can’t feasibly see you) but whatever it is…It’s definitely working for you.  You’re going places, you.

Welcome back to the Roundup, beautiful.

  • So when will the elusive Doom 4 release?  “When it’s done,” says id Software’s John Carmack, sparing me the effort of writing something smug.  Carmack also stated that his studio has dropped all mobile gaming development in favor of throwing all the manpower he has at Doom 4.  I’m sure this is terrible news for anyone who wanted to wait another four years for the game to release.
  • Carmack fully intends on adopting Doom 4 for use with the Oculus Rift, a VR headset currently under development.  If you’re interested in making the motherfucking future happen, you can donate to the tech’s Kickstarter page or reserve yourself an assembled set for $300 bones.  The technology is in its early stages, but John seems to think it will at least be ready in a build-it-yourself form by Doom 3: BFG Edition’s October release, since that title boasts support for “head mounted displays."  Think of it; you’re closing the floodgates on virtual porn by not donating (don’t look at me like that, I’m just saying what you’re thinking).
  • After teasing fans with unexplained screenshots, it appears EA Canada is finally adding simultaneous multiplayer to their SSX reboot, which has gone on without a traditional competitive mode since its February release.  Sure, it may have taken six months, but how could EA guess that you would want to play a racing/score attack game with your friends at the same time?  You can’t just expect these things out of the box.  What do you think this is?  Every other title in the series to date?
  • Paul Dini, screenwriter extraordinaire responsible for Batman: The Animated Series (arguably the glue that kept the ‘90’s from falling apart) and Batman’s recent virtual forays in both Arkham Asylum and Arkham City, has confirmed that he won’t be scripting Rocksteady’s Silver Age Batman prequel.  There are few writers out there who have clocked in as much time writing for the cape and cowl than Dini.  Go out there and stop a street crime tonight in his honor (Ed: Don’t do this).
  • Remember that supposed PlayStation All-Stars leak?  Not "supposed,” definitely a leak, so says SuperBot.  Oh, yes, that means the likes of Metal Gear Rising’s Raiden, Little Big Planet’s unfortunately named Sackboy, and Ninja Theory’s take on Dante are all featured in Battle Royale.  Despite the mass of content (including stages) that was spilled and despite the game’s fast approaching October launch, SuperBot swears the leak is hardly representative of the game, trying to bury the leak with news of an impending public beta coming this Fall.
  • Army of Two: The Devil’s Cartel was announced by EA, slated for the PS3 and Xbox 360 next March.  EA Montreal has been yanked off the series with Dead Space’s handlers, Visceral Games, taking over (an interesting pick indeed).  From the sound of things, it seems the developer has injected Dead Space’s mature storytelling into The Devil’s Cartel, while borrowing Army of Two’s co-op action for Dead Space 3.  Developed at once, both scheduled for early 2013…Don’t be surprised if you find a stray necromorph in AoT or a hapless, confused mercenary wandering the snow of Tau Volantis.  It’s simply the handiwork of one tired fucking programmer out there.
  • At a recent financial call, Take-Two – game publishing giant and owner of Rockstar Games – was proud to announce that the highly anticipated Grand Theft Auto V is making “substantial progress,” with a solid [TBA] release date in place, coming to your favorite [INDETERMINATE CONSOLE].  (Ed: Apparently he wants you to hear the bracketed words in your head as if a Dalek were saying them.  You…you really don’t have to.)

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